Being Uber Depressed
I don't think there's really anything wrong, except for the ki mini-is deadline that I have no way to complete. At least I have no motivation to complete it. :/ So I suddenly felt like listening to I Write Sins Not Tragedies.
It doesn't help. I try so much to do something with my life, but when I reach that pinnacle, I don't feel as happy as I imagined I would. Sometimes it's all you can do to block out the world, cover yourself with your blanket, and mope.
My father was talking to me about something yesterday, and that may have affected me. :) Cause I get affected way too easily. He said, put a lot of people together, and the ones who stand out are those who have some special talent, who see the bigger picture and know where they're going. Not... me.
Then he told me something like, it's no point being too sociable in life. Sure, be nice to people. And you must always be sincere to them. But there are only some who deserve your full confidence. When you run around being sociable, you end up feeling empty. Only share your real self with those who are worth it.
*sigh*
How do you know when someone's worth it? And I want to be everything to everyone, which is not pragmatic. But I like being idealistic. :P
My mother advocates a different view. She thinks that you should make friends with Everyone because friends are better than enemies. She feels happy doing that because she can call in favours and feel useful. :) But it may not be so different from my father, because I'm not sure how much she talks about with her acquaintances are subjects she holds dear to her.
At the moment, I just envy their surety of action. They know what life they've chosen to lead, how to treat people and how to survive happily ever after. They proceed along their paths while I lounge around, feeling lost.
I suppose this is the time for an evangelist. >_<
Moodily,
Alaris.
P.s. I'm really just trying to justify not doing ki now.
It doesn't help. I try so much to do something with my life, but when I reach that pinnacle, I don't feel as happy as I imagined I would. Sometimes it's all you can do to block out the world, cover yourself with your blanket, and mope.
My father was talking to me about something yesterday, and that may have affected me. :) Cause I get affected way too easily. He said, put a lot of people together, and the ones who stand out are those who have some special talent, who see the bigger picture and know where they're going. Not... me.
Then he told me something like, it's no point being too sociable in life. Sure, be nice to people. And you must always be sincere to them. But there are only some who deserve your full confidence. When you run around being sociable, you end up feeling empty. Only share your real self with those who are worth it.
*sigh*
How do you know when someone's worth it? And I want to be everything to everyone, which is not pragmatic. But I like being idealistic. :P
My mother advocates a different view. She thinks that you should make friends with Everyone because friends are better than enemies. She feels happy doing that because she can call in favours and feel useful. :) But it may not be so different from my father, because I'm not sure how much she talks about with her acquaintances are subjects she holds dear to her.
At the moment, I just envy their surety of action. They know what life they've chosen to lead, how to treat people and how to survive happily ever after. They proceed along their paths while I lounge around, feeling lost.
I suppose this is the time for an evangelist. >_<
Moodily,
Alaris.
P.s. I'm really just trying to justify not doing ki now.
This post is a very insightful one. It made me think a little, too. =) Maybe I'm going through the same thing too
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2:16 am
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