trust
There's the way the world sees things, and there's the way God sees it. And somehow, by learning what God sees, we learn how to live right in the world itself.
I have been very tired the past few weeks. Feels like the spirit is drained out of me, that I walk, deprived of joy, hoping to be told that it is time to rest now, it is finally over. But it's not over, it's just started. And as much as I've been thinking about whether to stay or go, I have no clear sign. There are temptations to both. And if I really wanted, there is a way out, even if it's not a very developed sort of way. At least, at least, He has given me a choice.
Sleeping too much trying to make up sleep just gives me a headache; sleeping as a way to run away just keeps me as depressed when I wake up.
That's because it's not physical rest I need, alone. Much more, I need spiritual rest. Rest in the Lord.
I need to live my life out, worrying as I do because I am so weak, then submitting all my worries to Him, who is faithful. I have to trust that He is faithful, I have to trust that He is loving and good, that He is powerful, that He will provide. He has to be real to me, because He is the one who solves everything. To hear that call, wherever it is, I have to know and hear His voice.
So, please come to my aid, God, because I am quickly approaching the end of my own rope, and I simply cannot do it myself. These tenterhooks that I feel I am on are illusory, for You watch over me continually. The world's quicksand will reveal Your strong foundation. Give me Peace that only comes from knowing You.
I have been very tired the past few weeks. Feels like the spirit is drained out of me, that I walk, deprived of joy, hoping to be told that it is time to rest now, it is finally over. But it's not over, it's just started. And as much as I've been thinking about whether to stay or go, I have no clear sign. There are temptations to both. And if I really wanted, there is a way out, even if it's not a very developed sort of way. At least, at least, He has given me a choice.
Sleeping too much trying to make up sleep just gives me a headache; sleeping as a way to run away just keeps me as depressed when I wake up.
That's because it's not physical rest I need, alone. Much more, I need spiritual rest. Rest in the Lord.
I need to live my life out, worrying as I do because I am so weak, then submitting all my worries to Him, who is faithful. I have to trust that He is faithful, I have to trust that He is loving and good, that He is powerful, that He will provide. He has to be real to me, because He is the one who solves everything. To hear that call, wherever it is, I have to know and hear His voice.
So, please come to my aid, God, because I am quickly approaching the end of my own rope, and I simply cannot do it myself. These tenterhooks that I feel I am on are illusory, for You watch over me continually. The world's quicksand will reveal Your strong foundation. Give me Peace that only comes from knowing You.
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