blessings and tribulations
So, work.
I'm blessed in lots of ways. Really blessed.
Blessed to get my team (especially in contrast to some of the other trainees). Blessed to get a mentor who sets pretty reasonable deadlines. Blessed that so far I've only been getting work from her, despite my attempts to volunteer for outsourcing at the start. :) My other small boss was away on vacation, and apparently though she's back she'll probably be urgently clearing work so it'll take a while for her to fully involve me in anything. Though, I do hope she does actually involve me in the matter my supervising solicitor (SS) mentioned when he spoke to me that first day of work, because that sounds pretty exciting.
It's actually cool to get a team that does ip liti, in particular patents, because then you get to figure out complex techie/science stuff (and not just law, which makes your head spin round). It's good to challenge your mind in different ways; it can give your mind a break and help it in both areas I think. And you can rest from one while working on the other. :)
Although, I haven't touched ip lit yet, so this is theoretical so far. Have been doing other things like side points on this four year old case, and...
Here's another thing: My mentor's into pro bono. :) And she encourages me to take cases on when I can. And it makes me so glad that I asked to do that pro bono CLAS session even though NUS kids got accidentally missed out, because I felt dishonest not doing it (origins from a story about my dad and scouts that I've heard a few times), and because I finally wanted to stop giving myself excuses and just *wanting* to do things and never doing them. They do say that INFJs sometimes need to remember that action is not just thought.
So here am I, pushed to action. I'm pretty blessed that my mentor is quite busy actually, because that allows me to sometimes revise what I've sent her after I realised I interpreted something wrong or cited the wrong thing (sometimes, I have problems with arbitrary numbers). It's like, I have to check an address 6 times or something before I trust myself to have gotten the right one. Printing things helps a lot to check, but after a certain point you begin to think, "I can't have missed anything" until the next day you come back and work on it and are like... :O I wish I could put all of myself into my work and block out everything else and like actually assign meaning to the numbers and cases, but I'm human and I can't do that sustainably for such a long work day, and I guess I just have to build in checks - like making myself not hurry, committing myself to put in the hours necessary rather than rushing to go home, actually bothering to write out case summaries for cases I want to present to my boss, taking quality but short breaks, learning my own cycle of when I'm tired or not and hopefully being able to plan more brainless stuff for the down times (like sifting through lawnet cases for those which are obviously not what I need, and saving the potential rest to sift through later).
Think I'm pretty blessed in my cubicle too. Although at first I felt a little worried that the other trainees would get close without me, because I'm not sitting with them, I have realised that I'm the sort who works best when people aren't trying to talk to me, and I feel bad not engaging people when they clearly want to speak, so... It's awesome for my work to get my own table. And my printer is so near I can just hop across to it without putting on my shoes. :D (It's literally nearer to me than any other human). And I don't have to worry about people glancing at my screen, not that I use it for anything illicit anyway but. :) I always get to see who's approaching. And it's pretty cool that I'm just around the corner from the guys' toilet and the other trainees are around the corner from the girls' toilet, so there's always the option to pop by conveniently if anyone feels like talking. :)
Got to learn to ration my dinner slots - think I might try having three planned dinners max per week (planned dinners meaning ones you meet old friends at and spend like 2 hours at), cause it does limit you in terms of what you can do for your boss, especially when there are more urgent deadlines.
Also got to learn perseverance and mood control. Although sometimes inside, I suddenly quake and wonder, What am I doing here?, somehow I have to believe that it's planned and purposeful and for a really good reason, and that I'm going to learn and thrive.
And now for the oft-used verse, even if people who use it might be criticized for taking it out of context:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". - Jeremiah 29:11
It will be okay, and better than okay. :) And I say this not knowing how things will go, and even envisioning that I may fail utterly. But because the world is more than it seems, I know whatever comes to pass will be part of that right way that You have planned for me.
I'm blessed in lots of ways. Really blessed.
Blessed to get my team (especially in contrast to some of the other trainees). Blessed to get a mentor who sets pretty reasonable deadlines. Blessed that so far I've only been getting work from her, despite my attempts to volunteer for outsourcing at the start. :) My other small boss was away on vacation, and apparently though she's back she'll probably be urgently clearing work so it'll take a while for her to fully involve me in anything. Though, I do hope she does actually involve me in the matter my supervising solicitor (SS) mentioned when he spoke to me that first day of work, because that sounds pretty exciting.
It's actually cool to get a team that does ip liti, in particular patents, because then you get to figure out complex techie/science stuff (and not just law, which makes your head spin round). It's good to challenge your mind in different ways; it can give your mind a break and help it in both areas I think. And you can rest from one while working on the other. :)
Although, I haven't touched ip lit yet, so this is theoretical so far. Have been doing other things like side points on this four year old case, and...
Here's another thing: My mentor's into pro bono. :) And she encourages me to take cases on when I can. And it makes me so glad that I asked to do that pro bono CLAS session even though NUS kids got accidentally missed out, because I felt dishonest not doing it (origins from a story about my dad and scouts that I've heard a few times), and because I finally wanted to stop giving myself excuses and just *wanting* to do things and never doing them. They do say that INFJs sometimes need to remember that action is not just thought.
So here am I, pushed to action. I'm pretty blessed that my mentor is quite busy actually, because that allows me to sometimes revise what I've sent her after I realised I interpreted something wrong or cited the wrong thing (sometimes, I have problems with arbitrary numbers). It's like, I have to check an address 6 times or something before I trust myself to have gotten the right one. Printing things helps a lot to check, but after a certain point you begin to think, "I can't have missed anything" until the next day you come back and work on it and are like... :O I wish I could put all of myself into my work and block out everything else and like actually assign meaning to the numbers and cases, but I'm human and I can't do that sustainably for such a long work day, and I guess I just have to build in checks - like making myself not hurry, committing myself to put in the hours necessary rather than rushing to go home, actually bothering to write out case summaries for cases I want to present to my boss, taking quality but short breaks, learning my own cycle of when I'm tired or not and hopefully being able to plan more brainless stuff for the down times (like sifting through lawnet cases for those which are obviously not what I need, and saving the potential rest to sift through later).
Think I'm pretty blessed in my cubicle too. Although at first I felt a little worried that the other trainees would get close without me, because I'm not sitting with them, I have realised that I'm the sort who works best when people aren't trying to talk to me, and I feel bad not engaging people when they clearly want to speak, so... It's awesome for my work to get my own table. And my printer is so near I can just hop across to it without putting on my shoes. :D (It's literally nearer to me than any other human). And I don't have to worry about people glancing at my screen, not that I use it for anything illicit anyway but. :) I always get to see who's approaching. And it's pretty cool that I'm just around the corner from the guys' toilet and the other trainees are around the corner from the girls' toilet, so there's always the option to pop by conveniently if anyone feels like talking. :)
Got to learn to ration my dinner slots - think I might try having three planned dinners max per week (planned dinners meaning ones you meet old friends at and spend like 2 hours at), cause it does limit you in terms of what you can do for your boss, especially when there are more urgent deadlines.
Also got to learn perseverance and mood control. Although sometimes inside, I suddenly quake and wonder, What am I doing here?, somehow I have to believe that it's planned and purposeful and for a really good reason, and that I'm going to learn and thrive.
And now for the oft-used verse, even if people who use it might be criticized for taking it out of context:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". - Jeremiah 29:11
It will be okay, and better than okay. :) And I say this not knowing how things will go, and even envisioning that I may fail utterly. But because the world is more than it seems, I know whatever comes to pass will be part of that right way that You have planned for me.
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