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our help and our shield

The more broken I am, the more I am able to turn to God. It's a helpless need, when I have reached past the limits of what I know or can be confident in, but somehow I must trust and turn to walk in his ways, to preserve what I can of my instructions because I choose to trust though my emotions rebel. It's strange in the past how confined I had to be, because there was nothing I could trust that it would be alright in the end. And conversely, this way guarantees uncharted waters and resulting fear, but it is the only way to life.

Ideally, I would be strong enough and yet able to make a conscious decision to turn to God, and to devote myself to his will. But I think perhaps humans are just not good enough that they would do such a thing in lifelong devotion. Thus, trials and temptations reveal our brokenness, and God makes us whole again.

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

- Isaiah 41:13

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