the common struggles
A friend said to me about someone he was having trouble with, that he pitied her if her mind was truly like that. But aren't we all to be pitied? I greatly dislike it when people define normal and not normal, and to not be normal is to be pitiable - because it is not just those who are 'not normal' who are pitiable, but all of us really, with our own tendencies to seeing the world as it is not, tendencies to paranoia in certain ways or inabilities to take things that should be a normal part of living. If you pity her, then do you not see the people who pity you?
Why is it that we respond so self-righteously as though we were not struggling ourselves? Why is it that people don't remember how much they are struggling themselves?
And again, I begin to perceive how we all, myself included, fall short. Because the only beautiful response would be to share that struggle, and oftentimes we just say we don't have enough strength in ourselves to deal with that rather than getting in and being honest and earnestly asking and wanting to do what we can to help, even if it means getting judged ourselves, even if it means later having to back off with a respectful attitude for someone else's drawn boundaries.
Our minds, I think, are all prisons in which there are raging storms and tortuous struggles, and we can only escape by turning to God.
So, I think I owe my friend an apology.
*
Studying for Part B is like eating health food that doesn't taste good. (Although most health food tastes good to me, so that's really hard to find.) I tried to run away a bit from studying this morning by doing some cross-stitch, but realised that cross-stitch too requires a lot of focus for all that it is mind-numbing. New-found respect for the lady yesterday who said she spent 4 years doing a cross-stitched quilt for her brother, and for my friend who did a bible cover over the summer for another friend.
*
We sang this song in church yesterday (it sounded better in church though :p), and it strikes me the presence of Christ in everything. Our waking, and rest; our thinking, and speaking; our gladness, and sorrow; our death, and our life. Really, it's hard to get anything else to matter - what does fear of failing at a worldly pursuit mean when you realise that you could be dead now, could have been born in a different country with no chance to study - what have you really to lose, when nothing was really yours?
I shudder saying this, because I don't want to find my motivation gone suddenly for most of the things I've done in life. But take away this life of fear, and fill me with something better.
Christ be in my waking
As the sun is rising
In my day of working
With me every hour
Christ be in my resting
As the day is ending
Calming and refreshing
Watching through the night
Christ be in my thinking
And my understanding
Guarding me from evil
Walking in the light
Christ be in my speaking
Every word a blessing
Pure and not deceiving
Grace to all who hear
Jesus, this is my devotion
All my life to know You
Every day to walk with You
Saviour, You're my deepest longing
You're the One I live for
Teach me Lord, to walk with You
Christ be in my gladness
For the joy of living
Thankful for the goodness
Of the Father's hand
Christ be in my sorrow
In my day of darkness
Knowing that I follow
In the steps he trod
Christ when hope has faded
Nothing left to cling to
Every pleasure jaded
Every well is dry
Christ the loving Shepherd
Draws me with His kindness
Leads me from the desert
To the streams of life.
Why is it that we respond so self-righteously as though we were not struggling ourselves? Why is it that people don't remember how much they are struggling themselves?
And again, I begin to perceive how we all, myself included, fall short. Because the only beautiful response would be to share that struggle, and oftentimes we just say we don't have enough strength in ourselves to deal with that rather than getting in and being honest and earnestly asking and wanting to do what we can to help, even if it means getting judged ourselves, even if it means later having to back off with a respectful attitude for someone else's drawn boundaries.
Our minds, I think, are all prisons in which there are raging storms and tortuous struggles, and we can only escape by turning to God.
So, I think I owe my friend an apology.
*
Studying for Part B is like eating health food that doesn't taste good. (Although most health food tastes good to me, so that's really hard to find.) I tried to run away a bit from studying this morning by doing some cross-stitch, but realised that cross-stitch too requires a lot of focus for all that it is mind-numbing. New-found respect for the lady yesterday who said she spent 4 years doing a cross-stitched quilt for her brother, and for my friend who did a bible cover over the summer for another friend.
*
We sang this song in church yesterday (it sounded better in church though :p), and it strikes me the presence of Christ in everything. Our waking, and rest; our thinking, and speaking; our gladness, and sorrow; our death, and our life. Really, it's hard to get anything else to matter - what does fear of failing at a worldly pursuit mean when you realise that you could be dead now, could have been born in a different country with no chance to study - what have you really to lose, when nothing was really yours?
I shudder saying this, because I don't want to find my motivation gone suddenly for most of the things I've done in life. But take away this life of fear, and fill me with something better.
Christ be in my waking
As the sun is rising
In my day of working
With me every hour
Christ be in my resting
As the day is ending
Calming and refreshing
Watching through the night
Christ be in my thinking
And my understanding
Guarding me from evil
Walking in the light
Christ be in my speaking
Every word a blessing
Pure and not deceiving
Grace to all who hear
Jesus, this is my devotion
All my life to know You
Every day to walk with You
Saviour, You're my deepest longing
You're the One I live for
Teach me Lord, to walk with You
Christ be in my gladness
For the joy of living
Thankful for the goodness
Of the Father's hand
Christ be in my sorrow
In my day of darkness
Knowing that I follow
In the steps he trod
Christ when hope has faded
Nothing left to cling to
Every pleasure jaded
Every well is dry
Christ the loving Shepherd
Draws me with His kindness
Leads me from the desert
To the streams of life.
Labels: ambition, dreams, friends, humanity, life, school, studying
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