incubation
I've begun to realize that the whole of life is an incubation process. An incubation process in which we slowly progress towards full formation, until we are given birth to after death and reborn in the eternal kingdom with new life. We are destined to frequently be uncomfortable, not knowing what is happening to us and not knowing yet how we will change. It seems like a cloudy, murky path ahead.
My mother reminded me that we don't need to ask for strength for the whole race at once. Just strength for that day, that moment. And when I wonder what will happen, thinking of all the moments yet to be borne, I am called to trust that on each day after I will be provided with just enough strength (just enough to keep me meek and dependent, because constant reminders are always good for this human).
In that way, I'm going to have to trust that although I don't see anything right now, if I just keep going, persevering in discomfort, one day I will suddenly wake with eyes that feel like they have never seen anything before, and at that time I will be changed in His image. Even if I am not in control at all of anything - but He still is, of everything.
*
In other news, after a dream this morning I realized that my siblings and I represent the four temperaments. I am the NF, and my brother NT, my younger sister SJ and my older sister (although her test was extremely borderline), I am somewhat certain is SP with their core need for freedom. Perfect for an MBTI enthusiast to understand the types.
*
And in other other news, I'm reading this book called Parables and the Enneagram. I've been slowly trying to digest it, because it really is tough to digest - I don't think I have a proper idea of what most of the types really are other than their outer shells, so I'm unable to evaluate it properly enneagram-wise, but it is quite some food for thought.
It brings up again the idea of how no one can serve two masters. That's why I think it's important to analyse ourselves, so that we can perhaps distill what is our own deceit and what is good. It's terrible because it gets hard to accept, just like criticism is always hard to accept - but I am still convinced that the fastest way to progress is to be able to accept criticism and to be devoted to a cause above our own pride and self-consciousness. Even reading of other types is hard to accept, because it makes you see how many ways there are to fall and think of the multitude of struggles going on in each human around us as well as feel the tensions in the world at large. But it appears that I have to accept that the need for such systemic people analysis is part of my journey, even if the consciousness wears down itself like a burden that must constantly be kept above the ground. I will be able to make it through not unscathed, but more as I am meant to be than ever.
My mother reminded me that we don't need to ask for strength for the whole race at once. Just strength for that day, that moment. And when I wonder what will happen, thinking of all the moments yet to be borne, I am called to trust that on each day after I will be provided with just enough strength (just enough to keep me meek and dependent, because constant reminders are always good for this human).
In that way, I'm going to have to trust that although I don't see anything right now, if I just keep going, persevering in discomfort, one day I will suddenly wake with eyes that feel like they have never seen anything before, and at that time I will be changed in His image. Even if I am not in control at all of anything - but He still is, of everything.
*
In other news, after a dream this morning I realized that my siblings and I represent the four temperaments. I am the NF, and my brother NT, my younger sister SJ and my older sister (although her test was extremely borderline), I am somewhat certain is SP with their core need for freedom. Perfect for an MBTI enthusiast to understand the types.
*
And in other other news, I'm reading this book called Parables and the Enneagram. I've been slowly trying to digest it, because it really is tough to digest - I don't think I have a proper idea of what most of the types really are other than their outer shells, so I'm unable to evaluate it properly enneagram-wise, but it is quite some food for thought.
It brings up again the idea of how no one can serve two masters. That's why I think it's important to analyse ourselves, so that we can perhaps distill what is our own deceit and what is good. It's terrible because it gets hard to accept, just like criticism is always hard to accept - but I am still convinced that the fastest way to progress is to be able to accept criticism and to be devoted to a cause above our own pride and self-consciousness. Even reading of other types is hard to accept, because it makes you see how many ways there are to fall and think of the multitude of struggles going on in each human around us as well as feel the tensions in the world at large. But it appears that I have to accept that the need for such systemic people analysis is part of my journey, even if the consciousness wears down itself like a burden that must constantly be kept above the ground. I will be able to make it through not unscathed, but more as I am meant to be than ever.
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